The unconditional self-compassion is not waiting for others to love you.
No doubt something that is also necessary from the perspective of a society that always looks outward to get us recognized.
But if you think about it, expect to be loved others is an expectation that aims to something very different.
Call it what you will.
Validation.
Improvement of the self-esteem.
Acknowledgement.However, many times you forget that, deep down, what you expect from others has to do with what you expect from them. maybe you're not giving yourself.
Unconditional self-compassion.
It's possible that self-pity sounds to you like you need to feel sorry for you.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In fact, the self-pity lowers stress between what you expect others to give you and what you give yourself. unconditionally.
With acceptance.
By lowering that internal criticism that makes you feel so bad sometimes.
And what you might be looking for that unconditional love in others.
You also gain something very important.
Do not make the victim role.
A form of escape from other things that are hidden behind and that can be the real key to your happiness.
What is unconditional self-compassion?
Be aware and accept that we are going through a bad time and give us love and understanding for itis unconditional self-pity.
In practice, it is what you would do with someone else who was going through what you're going through.
Unconditional self-compassion is to offer you kindness and understanding at any time or under any circumstances.
No strings attached.
It's as simple as that.
And complicated at the same time.
In a world where you have been taught to put you in perspective of what others think of youThis is a complicated act to say the least.
But imagine for a moment what would happen if you didn't have that need.
What would you be like?
How would you change your relationship with others?
And with what you do?
Have compassion for oneself is not to feel pity and sink deeper into the pit.
On the contrary.
It is a single exit lane to feel like what you are.
Don't think that it's selfish to love you as you would like others to love you.
On the contrary.
That is the key to want you to others unconditionally.
Completely.
Something that will make a difference not only in your relationships.
Also in how you feel and in the stress that this demand generates in you constant affection and validation external.
Differences between self-esteem and self-compassion
Although it may seem like the same thing, self-esteem and self-compassion are two different things.
Self-esteem has an evaluation and judgment component that self-pity does not have.
In coaching we look for the roots and motivations of both for strike a balance necessary.
The self-compassion is acceptance of how you are with your circumstances, doubts and sufferings.
But also of your positive qualities.
Self-esteem seeks your value from differentiation with others.
That's why in this last the judgment of others is too heavy to be managed in a healthy way at times.
You can have a high self-esteem but don't love each other at all.
But if you you want how you want to be lovedself-esteem takes a back seat.
Because self-pity does not distort your essence.
Becoming your own self-fulfilling prophecy of satisfaction with you.
Self-esteem can make it into absence of self-pity.
And self-pity unconditional is one of the doors to happiness.
Yours.
That of others.
On the way to the self-pity unconditional, the coaching is an opportunity.
To love you the way you want to be loved.
Do you dare to take the plunge?



Besides being a professional coach and member of the International Coaching Federation, I am a professional violin soloist with the Dutch Philharmonic Orchestra and a teacher, coach and mentor at the Conservatory of Amsterdam. As a specialist in personal branding and online marketing, what I am most passionate about is helping others to achieve their goals and develop their full potential. Shall we talk?