{"id":259710,"date":"2021-06-09T18:10:56","date_gmt":"2021-06-09T17:10:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/?p=259710"},"modified":"2021-06-09T18:10:56","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T17:10:56","slug":"complain-about-everything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/quejarse-por-todo\/","title":{"rendered":"Complaining about everything: the best way to achieve nothing?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Surely you know that person who <strong>tends to complain about everything<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Or maybe it happens to you.<\/p>\n<p>It doesn't matter in which area.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/personal-goals-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Job<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Family.<\/p>\n<p>Friends.<\/p>\n<p>Society, politics, economy...<\/p>\n<p>Complain about everything as a<strong> justification for one's own inaction<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Because the complaint usually <strong>aims to<\/strong> anything but solving that which provokes it.<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-259642 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/la-importanica-del-fracaso.jpg?resize=750%2C500&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"importance of failure\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/la-importanica-del-fracaso.jpg 750w, https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/la-importanica-del-fracaso-480x320.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"(min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 750px, 100vw\" \/><\/p>\n<p>A complaint is <strong>seems more like an excuse<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>In order not to <strong>take responsibility<\/strong> or seek to repair the damage that has occurred.<\/p>\n<p>In addition, the complaint usually comes from a <strong>trial position<\/strong>where you think you are right.<\/p>\n<p>Something I can assure you is never quite true.<\/p>\n<p>What are then the <strong>motivations<\/strong>?<\/p>\n<h2><strong>When complaining about everything becomes a habit<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The complaint <strong>may occur<\/strong> in three different ways:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Internally through a <a href=\"https:\/\/bvgpsicologia.com\/dialogo-interior-que-nos-decimos\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">inner dialogue<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Sharing the complaint <strong>with uninvolved third parties<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Complaining directly<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In any of the three options, the complaint has a background of <strong>resentment and frustration<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Almost always because there has been a <strong>failure to meet expectations<\/strong> you have created for yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Or you have been created.<\/p>\n<p>What inevitably <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/how-to-manage-stress-when-youre-not-being-chased-by-a-lion\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">generates stress<\/a> unproductive and empty.<\/p>\n<p>The fact is that the complaint does not <strong>seeks the action nor the solution<\/strong>.<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-259335\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/coaching-estres-y-miedo-escenico-musicos.jpg?resize=606%2C395&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Coaching for musicians to overcome stress and stage fright\" width=\"606\" height=\"395\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Only the reaffirmation and even sometimes the <strong>external validation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Complaining about everything internally causes a <strong>recursive internal dialogue<\/strong> which has a high toxicity.<\/p>\n<p>Something that doesn't help you and prevents you from <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/what-is-a-professional-coach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">see the opportunities<\/a> that the situation you are complaining about may report.<\/p>\n<p>Settling into the complaint is also a very easy way to <strong>find an excuse to protect you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Believing that you are right and that others are the ones who <strong>have to solve<\/strong> what has happened.<\/p>\n<p>Too easy.<\/p>\n<p>When the complaint is <strong>shared with third parties<\/strong> is not much better.<\/p>\n<p>This complaint <strong>seeks validation<\/strong> and always causes a worsening of the environment around you.<\/p>\n<p>Even validation, if it occurs at all, is <strong>partial and relative<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Since in many cases you also give the others a reason to see you. <strong>like the one who has done complaining about everything<\/strong> in their reason to seek the approval of others.<\/p>\n<p>But even if the complaint <strong>be addressed in a direct manner<\/strong>is not a good option either.<\/p>\n<p>With this complaint <strong>you are not looking for the solution<\/strong> but the reproach.<\/p>\n<p>Put yourself above the other.<\/p>\n<p>To recognize unconditionally<strong>\u00a0your way of seeing the conflict<\/strong> by moving away from the <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/when-unconditional-generosity-is-much-more-than-giving-to-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">action and responsibility<\/a> from you to make it fall on others.<\/p>\n<p>Why complain about everything then?<\/p>\n<h2><strong>What to do instead of complaining about everything?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>In many <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/serving-or-assisting-with-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">coaching processes<\/a> I hear the subject of the recurring complaint.<\/p>\n<p>Own or third party.<\/p>\n<p>The empty complaint that only gets <strong>let's stay in one place<\/strong> surrounding ourselves with reproach as a purpose for defending <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/learning-in-coaching-comfort-zone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">our comfort zone<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-259621 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/aceptacion-herramienta-de-coaching.jpg?resize=488%2C342&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"acceptance coaching tool\" width=\"488\" height=\"342\" srcset=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/aceptacion-herramienta-de-coaching.jpg 488w, https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/aceptacion-herramienta-de-coaching-480x337.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"(min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 488px, 100vw\" \/>An area that is increasingly <strong>gets smaller<\/strong> from that place where there is no room for dialogue.<\/p>\n<p>However, it is possible to break that pattern.<\/p>\n<p>From empathy and <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/unconditional-self-compassion\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">self-pity<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Through the <strong>statement of our point of view<\/strong> of the problem.<\/p>\n<p>Seeking <strong>approach options<\/strong> to the other party.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/creativecoaching.es\/en\/coaching-for-musicians-how-to-use-it-to-improve-yourself\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Active listening<\/a> and from empathy what the other has to propose to us.<\/p>\n<p>Just with this simple action, the <strong>released energy<\/strong> is positive and solution-focused<\/p>\n<p>Where there is no blame game.<\/p>\n<p>Nor is anyone judged.<\/p>\n<p>Contributing <strong>our intention<\/strong> to save the situation.<\/p>\n<p>If you are <strong>someone who tends to complain about everything<\/strong>I invite you to ask yourself a question.<\/p>\n<p>What are you hiding behind that complaint?<\/p>\n<p>What price do you pay to keep it?<\/p>\n\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Seguro que conoces a esa persona que tiende a quejarse por todo. O a lo mejor te ocurre a ti. No importa en qu\u00e9 \u00e1rea. Trabajo. Familia. Amigos. Sociedad, pol\u00edtica, econom\u00eda\u2026 Quejarse por todo como una justificaci\u00f3n de la propia inacci\u00f3n. Porque la queja generalmente tiene por objeto cualquier cosa menos solucionar aquello que la [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":259711,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Quejarse por todo: \u00bfla mejor manera de no conseguir nada?","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[22,25,30,32,26,35],"class_list":["post-259710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching-personal","tag-coaching-ejecutivo","tag-estructura-del-coaching","tag-guias-de-coaching","tag-introduccion-al-coaching","tag-proceso-de-coaching","tag-superacion"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.4 (Yoast SEO v28.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Quejarse por todo: \u00bfla mejor manera de no conseguir nada?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"El quejarse por todo no es la mejor opci\u00f3n para solucionar un problema. 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